SHINE YOUR LIGHT!
It was school holidays last week, which I always love. I love spending time with my kids at home and not having to rush around. I love having a break from homework and after-school activities. And I especially love those lazy, all-day pyjama days!
Along with all the shopping, visiting family and friends and other fun-filled outings, we also made time to do some cupcake baking, albeit very simple ones:
Although the cupcakes looked yummy and tasted okay, they were still a bit dry….which of course means that my search for the perfect recipe continues.
We spent a few mornings strolling down to the lake near our home, which is a haven for swans, ducks, fish and even eels. On one of the days, I took note of something that I hadn’t really thought about before. I noticed that the birds and the ducks were always together, in pairs or groups. The swans were hanging out as a family, with the mother and father proudly parading their little cygnets. The eels swam eerily in groups of 3 or 4. Even the fish swam in pairs.
It was so cool. All the animals I saw seemed to be following each other around, swimming together, or just hanging out with one another. It made me think how amazing God is – He created mates for all of us, humans and animals alike. By “mates” I don’t just mean life partners, but the plethora of mates that we share our lives with – buddies, work colleagues, siblings, cousins, sport teammates, all sorts of people.
It was my nephew’s 13th birthday last week and we had a last minute celebration for him. Last minute get-togethers often end up being the most fun. A simple bought birthday cake and cupcakes, a few family members and voi·là, we had a party!!
My nephew didn’t need a fancy party to make him happy. His ecstatic smile and bear hug to greet us spoke volumes about how he felt that day. He was just joyful to be doing life with some people he loved. It was priceless!
A single cupcake on a plate looks a bit lonely.
Whenever I make cupcakes, I like to serve them together on a plate, so that they look appetising. A single cupcake looks a bit lonely.
Beautiful Mother Teresa famously said, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”.
When I thought about the different circumstances in which people could be lonely, it saddened me. I thought of the homeless, widows, orphans, the sick, depressed, abused…the endless possibilities of so many lonely people.
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But I believe God never meant for us to be lonely. The Bible tells us that in preparation for the Big Flood, Noah had to get the animals into the ark two by two. God didn’t even want animals to be alone.
Way before then, God saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone, so He said, “I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). He zonked Adam out, pulled out one of his ribs and made Eve. Adam wasn’t alone anymore and the rest is history!!
Doing life together began so long ago. It’s so much nicer doing life together, than doing it alone.
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Bike riding together is a joy…….
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Such simple acts of “doing life together” are things that can combat loneliness. This is the way life is meant to be lived – together.
I’m not saying that every waking hour needs to be with another human being, because a bit of alone time is good. It gives us time for rest, meditation and rejuvenation. That’s a positive thing. But it’s the feeling of loneliness that cuts deep into a person’s heart that I think is the “terrible poverty” that Mother Teresa talked about.
Apparently, in days of old, generations of families lived together in the one house. If not, they lived in very close proximity to each other in small villages. Often, families had more than just two or three children, which would have made it really hard to get any alone time, even if you wanted it.
I’m fortunate to be one of ten children, which is not very common these days. I often comment that I’m thankful that I’ll never be alone in the world. Besides my own little family in my household, there’s always Mum, a sibling, an in-law, a nephew or niece to call on if I need company. Every other week there’s a birthday to celebrate, a meal to share, a chat to have, hugs and kisses aplenty. Then there are also precious friends and neighbours that I get to share my life with. I am truly blessed!
Even in the midst of such love and companionship though, we can still experience loneliness unfortunately. I’ve experienced the loneliness that can sometimes come with sickness, but I’ve never known the loneliness of being poor, or orphaned, or widowed.
Mother Teresa said, “I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbour. Do you know your next door neighbour?”
We could live next door to someone for years and never know what they look like, or get the opportunity to even say hello to them. We live in big, busy cities, so such a scenario can so easily happen. Some of us have neighbours who choose to keep to themselves and that’s okay. We need to respect their choice without judgement. But I think it’s always a good idea to try to reach out at least once. You never know what might come of it.
A few years ago, I came across a neighbour going for a walk past my house and we began to chat. She shared with me that she’d just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She went on to say that she didn’t believe in medicine and doctors and she wanted to deal with her illness naturally. She wanted to keep to herself and deal with it on her own. I had to respect her decision, so wished her well and told her that I would pray for her.
Many months passed and I never saw her out in her garden anymore, or taking her dog for a walk, or going out in her car. One day, I chanced upon her daughter and asked how her mum was. I was shocked to discover that she had passed away a few months earlier. Alone.
Even though it really saddened me, I couldn’t beat myself up about it as she had made it very clear that her wish was to be alone. But not everyone chooses to be alone. Some people just find themselves alone, not by choice, but by circumstance.
A little while later, I met another neighbour with an illness that confines her to her home most of the time. Since our paths crossed, I thought I’d take the opportunity to ask her if she would mind if I dropped in for a cuppa and a chat every now and then. She told me she’d love it, so that’s exactly what I’ve done ever since, and a lovely friendship has blossomed.
Loneliness is universal and transcends age, gender and culture. A person could be in the middle of a crowd and still feel lonely….some by choice, others through no fault of their own.
So what can we do?
Sometimes the answer can be as simple as baking some cupcakes for a sick neighbour, smiling at a passerby, reaching out to a new friend. You’ll soon know if they want to be left alone. If that’s the case, then so be it. But if not, you may just be the shining light that rescues another human being from a dark and lonely existence.
Go on, dare to shine your light!
